


My Love And My Hate For You Is Infinite

by PastelPunkPrincess



Series: Sex Ed Series [19]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst and Feels, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, Feels, Hate to Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad Gerard Way, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:05:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27360136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelPunkPrincess/pseuds/PastelPunkPrincess
Summary: All the guilt of sleeping with Frank again hits Gerard. He's ready to call it quits for good, but Frank refuses to lose him after the amazing night they had.
Relationships: Frank Iero & Gerard Way, Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Series: Sex Ed Series [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/469150
Kudos: 11





	My Love And My Hate For You Is Infinite

All of the rage had completely boiled out of Gerard's veins now, and it was finally hitting him what he just went and did again. He had sex with Frank after he made him promise that they wouldn't, but Gerard had initiated it, he had done it, but he refused to believe it.

He was so upset that he couldn't even think straight, he just needed to do something, and he wanted to go home, so that's what he did. He drove back, not even thinking about the little abomination of satan, focusing only on the road.

Frank must have fixed his pants and sat up at some point because he felt the younger man's gaze from the back seat the whole ride there, silently willing him to say something, but Gerard wasn't ready to deal with him yet.

When he finally pulled up to his house, he got out and slammed the door, stomping up to the front of the house, not bothering to see if Frank had followed him, but sure enough, he heard the clacking of his converse, running up the drive after him.

Gerard jammed the key into the lock and threw the door open, storming in.

"Gerard?" Frank questioned as he rushed in after him.

The word was barely out of his mouth before the older man whirled around and smacked him hard across the face, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Oww! What the fuck!" the younger man glared at him holding his check.

Gerard felt hysterical at this point, completely filled with sadness, pain, and regret over what he had gone and done again. He wasn't thinking; he just wanted Frank to hurt like he did, for him to feel bad for doing something for once in his damn life.

"That's what you're mad about?" he howled, tears streaming down his face and blurring his vision, "Funny, you didn't seem to complain about it when you were making me have  _ sex _ with you again."

Frank just stared at him confused, and Gerard wanted to smack him again for being so ignorant of his distress.

"Why? You know we can't, you know it! You know it, and you did it anyway. Why?" he wailed.

Frank suddenly became concerned, but Gerard didn't want his pity of fake apologies because they weren't going to make it better they weren't going to change what happened or make him feel better about it.

" _ Gerard _ ," he cooed in what he probably thought was a comforting way and tried to reach for him to reassure him, but Gerard just felt like he was being condescending, and he didn't need that.

He shoved Frank away from him, making him stumble back and fall on his ass.

"I hate you!" he screamed down at him in a ragged voice, his anger like a raw wound pouring blood, and he was filled with the pain of it, spouting the words he felt but didn't mean.

The horrible truth was that Gerard didn't hate Frank at all. He actually had really strong feelings for him, and it was those feelings that were making Gerard feel so bad right now because of how conflicted he was. His heart was screaming at him how much he wanted to be with him, but his head was crushing that with reality, that they could never be together.

Gerard turned and tried to run away from him, but his legs gave out and he collapsed in a heap on the floor in the living room, sobbing loudly into the carpet and muttering ' _ why?' _ mixed with ' _ I hate you _ ,' softly over and over, his energy starting to drain as he tried to convince himself it was true, like maybe if he said it enough it would be.

He lay there for a little while before he felt a sudden weight on his back, and he knew Frank was lying on top of him.

The shorter man clung to him tightly, kissing the back of his neck and rocking his hips slightly against him.

"Please, please don't be upset, Gerard," Frank pleased with him, sounding genuinely terrified that he had really fucked things up this time, but Gerard didn't care; he didn't want to hear it.

"Gerard, please look at me," he begged, his voice shaking, and Gerard felt him petting his head softly.

Gerard sniffled before he spoke, not bothering to look up, "What? What could you possibly have to say to me?"

"You... you can't really mean that. You don't really hate me, right? Please don't hate me."

Gerard hesitated for a moment.

"No."

"No?"

He turned his head and glared up at Frank's scared face over his shoulder.

"That's what I hate the most, Frank, that I don't hate you at all, but I know I should, and it sickens me! I have every right to hate you, but I don't. I l-" Gerar bit his tongue to stop himself before he let the rest of his words come flying out, and he told Frank how he really felt for him because he couldn't put himself through that pain.

There was no way he felt the same.

It didn't seem to matter though, because his face instantly lit up with hope, and Gerard wanted to deck him.

"It's okay. We can be together, Gerard. You don't have to be upset about what we did. We can be together," he urged, but the older man turned away from him again and covered his ears after hearing that.

"Shut the fuck up! I don't want to hear any more of your lies. I'm tired of you saying whatever just to get me to sleep with you. Just go away and leave me alone."

"No, please listen to me," Frank whined desperately, and he felt him pull at his hands, grinding his hips harder against him, trying anything to get him to listen, but Gerard was done hearing him.

Then he felt large wet drops against his back, making his dress shirt cling to his skin in some spots, and he pulled his hands away slightly, hearing Frank crying for real now.

"Gerard! Please, I'm not lying. We really can be together. I looked it up. I'm legal, we can be together. You have to believe me, please," the smaller man sobbed in between planting as many kisses as he could on his neck, his hands fisted tightly in Gerard's jacket, shaking it to punctuate his sentences.

The young teacher let out a shuddered sigh and turned as much as he could under him to face Frank with pleading eyes.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes," Frank replied instantly.

"So, we can be together, and it's not illegal?"

"Yes, Gerard! Yes, we can!" the shorter man shouted with glee and went to kiss him, but Gerard held him back.

"You better not fucking be lying, or I swear to god..."

"No, I'm not. I can even show you."

At that, Gerard rolled out from under him, so Frank landed beside him with an umph, and he didn't even give him time to recover before he kissed him harshly, with all the passion and feelings he had pent up inside of him, moaning into the younger's mouth, as he palmed him through his jeans.

"Fuck!  _ G-Gerard _ ," Frank moaning out between lustful brushes of their lips and tongues, and tangled his fingers in the elder man's hair.

Despite how steamy and kinky the other two times were, this was even hotter somehow because it meant so much more suddenly.

Somehow just passionately making out on the floor and listening to Frank's breathy panting as he felt him growing against his hand felt mind-blowing, even though Gerard wasn't getting any kind of friction at all.

But his heart was swelling with something far beyond pleasure, knowing that he could really be with Frank, and it was indescribable how it was making him feel.

"Gerard, I l-," Frank went to say to him, but the teacher shoved his tongue in his mouth, shutting him up.

Gerard could feel himself leaking in his pants just from this, from how much he liked the impossible man before him, and that was better than sex or any feeling he'd ever had before.

It felt overwhelmingly good and comfortable as Gerard pulled away from his lips, burying his head in Frank's chest and breathing in his cologne, all his tiredness hitting him at once, from all the energy fucking and crying so hard.

Gerard pulled him tight against him and moved his hand faster, but Frank was already cumming hard in his pants, practically crying his name as he felt the shocks of his orgasm go through him.

The older man just smiled and nuzzled against his chest, falling asleep, happier than he'd ever been.


End file.
